Fried Eggs

I feel like death

Or at least I did. Then I looked at the news and quickly got tired of it. It's well-known that people have a morbid curiosity, but this is ridiculous! It's not just death and disease that's waiting for people out there, but widespread destruction and extermination of organisms in all their…
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6/22/10

My boss

Some days when I walk into the office it seems like it's going to be a great day. Then my boss arrives and everything goes south. Is it just me or does some people's micromanagement do more harm than good? Maybe it's just a question of doing it right. There's always a proper way of doing things…
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5/30/10

Sea Serpents

Yup, it's real. These construction workers have actually caught a sea monster, which they plan to name Bigfoot. Don't ask me how it ended up on a construction site, but it must be a foreman or something, because it's not wearing a hard-hat. It just goes to show that animals can be trained to…
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5/12/10

Am I an insomniac?

When I glanced in the mirror this morning I couldn't help but notice how awake I looked, even though I had only slept for fifteen minutes. My wide eyes were bright and alert, my hair was neatly combed and I seemed to have a permanent grin on my face. For anyone that hasn't had sex before, I…
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5/02/10

Perseus a hermaphrodite?

It's hard to believe that only a few years ago it was considered politically correct to sacrifice your virgin daughter to a sea monster. Thanks to the social revolution of the sixties, though, women and men can both be chained to the rocks awaiting their horrible fate. That's considered a good…
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4/23/10

Head-shaped pastries

There's nothing like a yummy snack fresh from the bakery. I can't believe how much this sugar-coated jelly donut looked like a person's face. When I saw it I thought it was such a spitting image of Herod Agrippa that I just had to post the photo. I'm thinking of starting a collection of famous…
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4/19/10

Missing: one brain

So I finally got my brain x-rayed, and as you can see from the picture, I have a blue brain. I don't know what could have caused it, but the doctor said to eat less ice cream, or at least eat slower. I guess I'm relieved because I wasn't sure if they were going to find anything at all. For…
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4/16/10

For all you dog-lovers

I couldn't help but notice an awful lot of cute pictures of people's cats. Well here's a cute picture of my dog. Don't worry, Fluffy wasn't injured in this confrontation but the neighbor's cat was certainly crabby after the experience to say the least. Anyway, just thought I'd send out some…
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4/14/10

Barbie scares me

When I saw the picture posted of someone's Barbie doll I was so startled I nearly fell out of my chair. I am still shaking after seeing that horrible picture, glittering pink with purple and blue make-up caked to her plastic little face. I feel sorry for little girls that receive one of these…
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4/13/10

Medusa ain't that bad

What are the advantages to having Medusa as your girlfriend? Actually I just wanted to post a picture of her, not that I have her head growing out of my back or anything like in Basket Case...okay, I have Medusa's head growing out of my back. Are you schizophrenic? Numby likes to talk to schizophrenics,…
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4/12/10

The giant, Earth-destroying asteroid is on its way, and everyone should try to make the most of it.

There is no way to avoid the inevitable occurrence. One can only hope that we are lucky enough that it happens in our lifetime. Today people are not hedonistic enough, or at least it is frowned upon. If they knew that the inferno is coming it would be time for a world-wide shake-down party.…
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4/11/10